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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22804354">mean it</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Schriftstellerexcerpts/pseuds/Schriftstellerexcerpts'>Schriftstellerexcerpts</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>tangled up in you [7]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Wynonna Earp (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 08:47:17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,296</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22804354</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Schriftstellerexcerpts/pseuds/Schriftstellerexcerpts</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“It’s summer break,” Wynonna says, rubbing her hands together. “Do you know what that means?” </p>
<p>	Nicole furrows her eyebrows. “We can sleep in now?” She questions. </p>
<p>	“Pool parties!” Wynonna practically exclaims, a smile on her face. “Which means that I get to show off this hot bod to the fellas around here and you get to flash your abs to the ladies.” </p>
<p>	“I have a girlfriend,” Nicole reminds Wynonna. </p>
<p>	“She can come, too,” Wynonna says.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Waverly Earp &amp; Nicole Haught, Waverly Earp/Nicole Haught, Wynonna Earp/Doc Holliday, Xavier Dolls/Wynonna Earp</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>tangled up in you [7]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1524716</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>125</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>mean it</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hey, all. Wow, it's been a long time, eh? I'm so sorry that I haven't posted in so long.</p>
<p>How is everyone doing?</p>
<p>In this chapter, Wynonna is conflicted, Shae tells Nicole something big, and Waverly and Nicole finally have a much needed talk.</p>
<p>Enjoy and, as always, all feedback is welcome.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Nicole walks out of Purgatory High on the last day of school and smiles. It’s finally getting warm outside and she actually feels content. She has a girlfriend. Like an <em>actual</em> girlfriend. She and Shae have been officially dating for two months and it’s been a pretty great two months. Being that Shae lives a few counties over, it sometimes gets difficult to see each other, but Nicole drives to Shae’s house every weekend that she can and Shae sometimes drives to Purgatory as well.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Now that it’s summer break, it’ll be easier to see each other. They both have free time. It makes Nicole feel giddy. Shae is such a great person. She’s so attentive and warm and kind. She’s super smart, too. The two of them have a real connection.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nicole makes her way to her car and frowns when she sees Champ and Waverly holding hands while walking to the parking lot. It’s been five months since she and Waverly have talked. A lot has happened in those five months. Nicole started dating Shae. Champ cheated on Waverly twice and she got back together with him each time. Nicole went to two concerts with Shae. One was a PartyNextDoor concert and the other one was a Chance The Rapper concert. Waverly started looking at potential colleges. The two of them haven’t even so much as looked at each other in five months.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was hard at first, not talking to Waverly. Nicole was so used to talking to her everyday, but she eventually got used to avoiding Waverly. It got to the point where she started eating lunchin her car just so she wouldn’t have to worry about Waverly sitting next to her or even at the same table as her during lunchtime.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Of course, Nicole doesn’t like the situation they’re in. She wants to talk to Waverly; wants to tell her that this break is stupid and that she should’ve never suggested that they take one. She can’t do that, though. Not when Waverly looks so happy with Champ. Not when Nicole’s with Shae now.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>So Nicole puts her head down as she walks past Champ and Waverly. Part of her wants to stop walking, turn to Waverly, and ask her if she misses her at all. She pushes the thought from her head and walks faster.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey,” comes Wynonna’s voice as she tries to catch up with Nicole. “Haught,” she says. “Will you slow down?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nicole slows her pace a little. “What’s up, Earp?” She asks, looking straight ahead.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s summer break,” Wynonna says, rubbing her hands together. “Do you know what that means?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nicole furrows her eyebrows. “We can sleep in now?” She questions.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Pool parties!” Wynonna practically exclaims, a smile on her face. “Which means that I get to show off this hot bod to the fellas around here and you get to flash your abs to the ladies.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I have a girlfriend,” Nicole reminds Wynonna.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“She can come, too,” Wynonna says.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And you have a boyfriend,” Nicole says slowly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“He’s not my boyfriend,” Wynonna says. “He’s my friend that so happens to be a boy.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Who you bone,” Nicole points out.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Wynonna playfully shoves Nicole. “C’mon,” she says, “let’s go work on cleaning your pool. It’s going to need to be in tiptop shape for our parties.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Could you pick up the pace?” Champ asks from behind Nicole and Wynonna.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Wynonna flips Champ off without even looking back. “Fuck you, Champ,” she says.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nicole cackles.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Seriously, Wynonna?” Champ scoffs. “Grow up.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Wynonna abruptly stops walking, making Champ run right into her. “First of all,” Wynonna starts, pointing an accusing finger at Champ, “don’t for one second think that I can’t beat your ass.” She pokes him in the chest. “Second of all, you grow up. Stop cheating on my baby sister or so help me, I will-“</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Wynonna,” Nicole interrupts Wynonna, warning in her voice.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Back off, Wynonna,” Champ says.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You’re an asshole,” Wynonna spits out. “I don’t like you and I especially don’t like that you’re dating my baby sister. There are so many other people in this town who could treat her better.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nicole looks down at the ground, then she chances a glance at Waverly, who is looking back at her. They hold each other’s stare for a moment, neither of them blinking. Everything around them becomes fuzzy, like a distant memory.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It hits Nicole then. She doesn’t wanna do this anymore. She wants to talk to Waverly, tell her everything that’s been going on in her life. Because she misses her and not in some I’m-So-In-Love-With-You-It-Hurts kind of way, but more in a You’re-My-Best-Friend-And-I-Need-You kind of way.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nicole can feel it all the way in her toes, the need to reach out and caress Waverly’s face. She wants to tell her that she’s sorry; that this break is stupid. She aches for it so bad that tears start to form in her eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Just as she’s working up the courage to ask Waverly if they can go and talk somewhere, Wynonna’s grabbing Nicole’s arm and yanking her towards the parking lot. Nicole is forced to look away from Waverly, but she looks over her shoulder at her. Waverly’s still looking at her and it fills her with hope.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When the two of them get to Nicole’s car, they get in and Wynonna huffs.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I cannot <em>stand</em> him,” Wynonna fumes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Neither can I,” Nicole agrees. She starts her car and winces when Luke Combs’ voice fills her car.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>“She got the best of me. She broke my heart. Now all that’s left of me is beatin’ in this guitar.”</em>
  
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nicole quickly turns the volume all the way down.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Was that <em>country</em>?” Wynonna asks, her eyebrows raised.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nicole shakes her head sheepishly. “No,” she drags out.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Wynonna narrows her eyes. “I can’t believe that Nicole Haught listens to country music,” she says. “Have you been hanging out with Doc too much or something?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nicole rubs the back of her neck. “I just like the lyrics,” she tells Wynonna and looks at her, silently begging her to not tease her about this.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Wynonna reads her message loud and clear, leaning back into the passenger side seat and putting her seatbelt on. “What do you wanna do today?” She asks as Nicole replaces the Luke Combs cassette with a Chance the Rapper one.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nicole shrugs, looking out her window and watching Waverly get into Champ’s truck. She swallows hard and forces herself to look away.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m gonna miss you,” Waverly had said when Nicole was in eighth grade and she was in seventh.</p>
<p>“I’m only going to be gone a week,<em>”</em> Nicole had told her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You’ll be far away,” Waverly had said. “All the way in the Big City playing basketball.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m gonna miss you, too, Waves,” Nicole had said, the same softness in her eyes she always had when it came to Waverly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You’re going to come back home to me, right?” Waverly had asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’ll always come back home to you, Waves,” Nicole had said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We could go home,” Wynonna says, looking down at her phone. “Maybe watch a movie, maybe get drunk.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nicole snaps out of her haze and nods. “Okay,” she says, putting her car in reverse.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>—</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Do you think that Dolls likes Kate Cummings?” Wynonna asks around the brim of her beer.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I don’t know,” Nicole says, propping her feet up on the coffee table. “I’ve never really seen them together or heard him talk about her. Why?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Wynonna fiddles with the loose thread at the bottom of her shirt. “No reason,” she says softly. “Just thinking.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Uh-oh,” Nicole says, half a smile on her face. “Wynonna Earp is thinking? There’s something I never thought would happen.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Wynonna rolls her eyes playfully and whacks Nicole’s arm. “I wanna cut ties with both of them,” she says.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“With Dolls and Kate Cummings?” Nicole asks, raising her eyebrows.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Wynonna shakes her head. “With Doc and Dolls,” she tells Nicole.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“But you like them,” Nicole says slowly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You like Waverly and you cut ties with her,” Wynonna points out.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nicole’s breath hitches. “That…that’s different. I don’t like Waverly like <em>that</em>,” she says.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I can’t keep bouncing between the two of them,” Wynonna says. “It’s exhausting. I’m tired of the constant battle in my mind about them. I just want it to done.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You can be just friends with them, you know?” Nicole says. She finishes off her beer and sets the empty bottle on the coffee table. “You guys don’t have to make out or have sex.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Wynonna shrugs, sighing. “I like both of them,” she says. “Maybe I even love them, but I’m not ready to commit to either one of them.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And that’s okay,” Nicole assures Wynonna. “You don’t have to be anything with either of them, but you can’t be stringing them along. I mean, it has to be exhausting for them, too.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Wynonna nods. “I know,” she says.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nicole pats Wynonna’s leg before she stands up. “Let’s go shoot some hoops or something.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Loser buys dinner,” Wynonna says, setting her beer down and running outside.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nicole laughs. “Deal,” she says, following Wynonna outside.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>—</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You cheated,” Wynonna grumbles as she and Nicole slide into a booth.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nicole laughs softly. “I did not,” she says.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You tripped me,” Wynonna says.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You tripped over your untied shoelace,” Nicoles says.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Whatever,” Wynonna says, a lightness in her voice.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hi, Wynonna,” Rosita says as she walks up to their table, notepad in hand. “Nicole.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Wynonna leans back in the booth. “Sup, Bustillos?” Wynonna says.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey, Rosie,” Nicole says, offering her a small smile.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“The usual, right?” Rosita asks, already scribbling two grilled cheeses with a side of fries and a Pepsi and a Sprite.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The both of them nod.</p>
<p>“It’ll be out in two shakes,” Rosita says, turning around and heading towards the kitchen.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Waves must not be on today,” Wynonna says, playing with the napkin holder.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nicole shrugs. “That, or she’s avoiding me,” she says and it comes out bitterer than she expected.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Wynonna eyes Nicole. “I don’t think she’s avoiding you,” she says.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nicole shrugs again. “I’m gonna go call Shae,” she mumbles before standing up and heading outside. She leans against the side of Shorty’s and holds her cellphone up to her ear.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>“</em>Hello?” Comes Shae’s voice on the other end of the line.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey,” Nicole breathes out, a smile on her face. “What’re you up to?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Cleaning my room,<em>”</em> Shae tells her with a huff. <em>“</em>My parents are making me clean it before I can go anywhere.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Are we still on for tonight?” Nicole asks, thumbing the thread at the bottom of her t-shirt. It’s an all white one that she didn’t even bother to tuck into her black skinny jeans. She lowers her voice, “You know, the lake?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“For sure,” Shae says, promise in her voice. “What’re you doing right now?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nicole turns around and looks through the window of Shorty’s. Wynonna’s on her phone, probably texting Doc or Dolls or both. She turns back around, leaning back up against the side of Shorty’s. “Eating dinner with Wynonna,” she tells Shae. “She’s buying because I totally beat her at basketball.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You two and your competitions,” Shae says, laughing softly. “What time are you gonna pick me up?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nicole smiles. “Does eight o’clock sound good?” She asks.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Eight o’clock sounds great, babe,” Shae says.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nicole scratches the back of her neck and she squeezes her eyes shut. It never feels quite right when Shae calls her “babe” or “baby.” It doesn’t make Nicole swoon the same way she does when Waverly calls her “honey” or “sweetie.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Okay,” Nicole says. “See you then.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She hangs up before Shae can say anything else and puts her phone back into her pocket. She heads back into Shorty’s and slides into the booth.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I was beginning to think you bailed on me,” Wynonna says, setting her phone to the side. “You know, for Shae.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Never,” Nicole says, smiling. “She and I are going out tonight, though, so don’t wait up for me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Here you go,” Rosita says, setting down their food in front of them. “Enjoy.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey, Rosie,” Wynonna says, catching Rosita’s attention before she can walk away. “Is Waves on today?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rosita nods and clicks her thumb over her shoulder. “Yeah, she’s been the chef all afternoon since Evan is out sick,” she says.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh, okay. Thanks, Rosie,” Wynonna says and Rosita walks over to another table to check up on the customers. “See? She’s not avoiding you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nicole takes a long drink of her Sprite. “Okay,” she says.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Now let’s talk pool parties,” Wynonna says with a mouthful of grilled cheese in her mouth.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>—</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Here we are,” Nicole says as she pulls up to the lake and puts her car in park.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Shae smiles. “Here we are,” she mimics.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nicole turns Usher’s voice down and leans in to kiss Shae. “You’re really pretty, you know that?” She says in Shae’s ear.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Shae blushes and pulls Nicole closer. “You’re really sweet,” she says.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nicole kisses behind Shae’s ear. “I’m so happy we met,” she tells Shae, pulling back to caress Shae’s face and rub her cheeks with her thumbs. She stares into Shae’s beautiful brown eyes and smiles. She could get used to this. Maybe she could spend the rest of her life with Shae, looking into her eyes and getting lost in them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But then Shae says something that changes everything.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I love you,” Shae says and Nicole freezes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Um…I…” Nicole says, lost for words. Her phone starts vibrating in her pocket and she pulls away from Shae to grab it. “It’s…uh…it’s Waverly. Oh, boy.” She rubs the back of her neck as she looks between her phone and Shae. “I’m sorry,” she says before she answers it. “Hello?” She says.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Nicole,” Waverly says, her voice uneasy.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Waves,” Nicole says, her eyebrows etched together. “What’s going on?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I know you don’t like me anymore and we’re still on a break or whatever, but Champ and I got into a huge fight and he left me at this party by myself,” Waverly rushes out. “I would call Wynonna, but she’s probably drunk somewhere and-“</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Send me your location and I’ll come and get you,” Nicole tells Waverly, looking at Shae, who has her arms crossed and her jaw locked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Thank you,” Waverly says.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Anytime, Waves,” Nicole says. She hangs up and starts her car. “I’m sorry,” she tells Shae, reaching for her seatbelt and buckling it. “She needs me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Shae sighs. “Of course,” she says tightly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nicole squeezes the steering wheel as she heads towards Waverly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>—</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When they pull up to the party, Waverly is already waiting outside. Nicole gets out and rushes over to Waverly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey,” Nicole says softly. She wants to reach out and pull Waverly into her, but she withholds herself from doing so. “Are you okay?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Waverly has her arms crossed over her chest and she’s slouching. Her eyes are puffy and she’s frowning, but, dammit, if she’s still not the most beautiful girl Nicole’s ever seen. “M’fine,”Waverly mumbles. “Tired.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nicole knows from the look in Waverly’s eyes that she <em>is</em> tired — tired of Champ’s bullshit, tired of his lies, tired of his cheating. “I’m sorry,” Nicole says, unsure of what else to say. “For this break, for…all of it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Waverly’s chin quivers. “You didn’t talk to me for five months, Nicole,” she says.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I know,” Nicole says. “And I know we need to talk, but can it wait a little longer?” She looks back at her car, where Shae is rigid.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Waverly nods. “Can I stay at your house tonight?” She asks. “I…I don’t wanna go home.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“For sure,” Nicole says, looking back at Waverly and putting her hand on the small of her back as she walks her to the car. She opens the door for Waverly and shuts it after she gets in. She jogs over to the driver’s side and gets in.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Thank you for coming to get me,” Waverly says when Nicole starts driving down the road. “I’m sorry if I interrupted anything.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Actually, you kind of-“ Shae starts, her voice on edge.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You didn’t interrupt anything,” Nicole says quickly, glancing over at Shae, who rolls her eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The rest of the ride to Nicole’s house is quiet. Shae looks out of the window the whole time, Waverly falls asleep, and Nicole keeps her eyes glued to the road.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>After Nicole parks and shuts her car off, Shae storms out of it and into the house. Nicole pinches the bridge of her nose and sighs. Waverly stirs.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>“Counted up the days since it went to hell and I watched you walk out,”</em> LANY sings somewhere off in the distance.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Are we home?” Waverly asks, her voice hoarse.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>Home</em>, Nicole thinks.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah,” Nicole says softly. <em>We’re home, Waves. Home is with you.</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Where’s Shae?” Waverly asks, sitting up fully.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nicole looks at her house. “Inside,” she says.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Is she mad?” Waverly asks.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nicole shrugs. “I don’t know,” she says. “I don’t know about anything anymore.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What do you mean?” Waverly asks, her eyebrows furrowed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I don’t know about anything anymore,” Nicole repeats and Waverly looks at her with pleading eyes, begging her to let her in. Nicole sighs and squeezes the steering wheel. “I don’t know about being a lawyer. I don’t know about Shae. I…I don’t know about you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“About me?” Waverly questions.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nicole looks down. “I think we should go inside,” she says.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Nicole,” Waverly says, leaning forward. “Please.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>“Counted up the ways I’ve tried to save myself and I’ve kept my head down.”</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nicole looks up and catches Waverly’s eyes in the mirror. Waverly looks exhausted but still so damn beautiful. Nicole’s eyes burn. “We need to go inside, Waves,” she says. She opens the door and gets out.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Waverly gets out of the car, too, and follows Nicole. “Nicole,” she says.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You can wear some of my clothes to bed,” Nicole tells her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Nicole,” Waverly says again, grabbing Nicole’s wrist.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nicole stops walking and turns towards Waverly. “I can’t do this with you right now, Waverly,” she says. “My girlfriend is inside waiting for me so I can’t do this right now.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Okay,” Waverly says, brushing past Nicole and going inside.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nicole groans.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>—</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When Nicole goes inside, she finds Shae sitting on the couch in the living room. Waverly is nowhere in sight, but Nicole can vaguely hear the shower running upstairs so she’s most likely taking a shower.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Shae,” Nicole says softly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Shae sighs and looks at Nicole. “What the hell even was that?” She asks, eyebrows raised.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What was what?” Nicole asks.</p>
<p>“You just dropped everything for her,” Shae says. “We were having a moment. Well, at least I thought we were, but then she called and suddenly you turned into this whole new person.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nicole sighs. “Look, things are complicated between Waverly and me, okay?” Nicole says, her hands at her sides.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I thought you guys weren’t even friends anymore,” Shae says.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We’re on a break,” Nicole tells her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“But why?” Shae asks. “I don’t understand why things are so complicated between the two of you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nicole shrugs. “Things have been complicated between us for awhile now,” she admits. “It’s hard to explain.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It shouldn’t be,” Shae says.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well, it is,” Nicole says.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Shae leans forward on the couch and rests her elbows on her knees. “Are you…” She trails off, looking directly into Nicole’s eyes. “Are you in love with her?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nicole looks down.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>“I think it’s time to give my heart a chance even though it’s bleeding,”</em> Lany sings.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You are, aren’t you?” Shae says, her voice wavering.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s not that simple,” Nicole tells her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Isn’t it?” Shae asks, standing up. “I told you I love you, but you didn’t say it back because you’re in love with her.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nicole’s eyes fill with tears. “I’m not in love with her,” she says.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Shae walks closer to Nicole. “Then why couldn’t you say you love me back?” She asks.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nicole swallows hard. “I don’t know,” she says.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Shae’s chin quivers as she says, “I really hope you get her someday.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Shae,” Nicole tries.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Shae walks towards the door. “I’m gonna take an Uber home,” she tells Nicole. “You take care of yourself.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nicole ignores the tears building in her eyes. “Are you…are you breaking up with me?” She asks.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Shae grabs the doorknob and turns back to Nicole, tears streaming down her face. “We broke up the minute Waverly called,” she says. She opens the door and walks out of it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nicole sighs and wipes at the tears that are making their way down her face.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She walks over to the bar and pours herself a Scotch.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You okay?” Waverly asks from her place by the stairs.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nicole finishes the Scotch in one go and winces at her throat burning. “Yeah,” she says, pouring herself another Scotch.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Where’d Shae go?” Waverly asks, walking over to the bar and standing next to Nicole.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Home,” Nicole says flatly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Why?” Waverly asks, her eyebrows sewn together.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We,uh…” Nicole trails off, clearing her throat. “We broke up.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh,” Waverly says, offering a comforting hand on Nicole’s arm. Nicole flinches away. “Are you mad at me?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nicole swirls the Scotch around in the glass. “I don’t know what I am at you anymore,” she says.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Waverly frowns. “You know, you keep saying things like that and I don’t know what you mean,” she says. “Are we done being friends? Is that…is that what you’re getting at?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Is that what you want?” Nicole asks, looking at Waverly. “Do you not wanna be friends anymore?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I never said that,” Waverly says.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Because I don’t know what you want from me, Waverly!” Nicole shouts, setting her Scotch down. “I don’t know how I’m supposed to act around you or how I’m supposed to feel!” She sighs and pinches the bridge of her nose. “Because my girlfriend just broke up with me and you know what? I don’t even blame her.” She leans against the bar, her hands gripping the ledge.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Look, I’m sorry that you and Shae broke up, but I don’t see how that was my fault,” Waverly says.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>It is your fault</em>, Nicole thinks. <em>She broke up with me because I’m in love with you.</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And I don’t want anything from you,” Waverly continues. “I just want you, Nicole.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nicole squeezes her eyes shut. “Is that even true?” She asks. She opens her eyes and looks at Waverly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Why wouldn’t it be true?” Waverly asks, eyebrows raised. “Do you not realize how miserable these past five months have been for me? I cried for two weeks straight, Nicole. You’ve been apart of my life for sixteen years and all of a sudden you just…disappeared.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>You</em> disappeared,” Nicole spits out. “After my mom left, you told me you’d be there for me and then you just <em>left</em>. You stopped hanging out with all of us and when you did hangout with us, all you talked about was Champ. You slept with that fucking weasel. You disappeared, not me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You pushed me away,” Waverly says. “You acted like you didn’t need me so I acted like I didn’t need you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You don’t need me,” Nicole says.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Of course I need you, Nicole,” Waverly says exasperatingly. “C’mere.” She reaches out for Nicole.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nicole doesn’t move.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Come here,” Waverly says firmly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nicole sighs and walks closer to Waverly, who caresses Nicole’s face.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You’re everything to me,” Waverly whispers, leaning in and kissing Nicole’s cheek. “You’re my everything.” She kisses Nicole’s other cheek.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nicole’s eyes fill with tears. “Champ’s your everything,” she mumbles.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>Don’t kiss me right now. Don’t tell me that you need me,”</em> Lauv sings.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>You</em> are,” Waverly tells Nicole. “You’ve always been my everything.” She kisses Nicole’s nose, then her forehead. “I know you’ve been hurting a lot. I know it’s been hard without your mom here.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m fine,” Nicole says.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Your not,” Waverly says. “And that’s okay.” She kisses Nicole’s temple.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tears make their way down Nicole’s face.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>“Don’t mess with my head. Don’t tell me you’re falling with your feet still on the ledge.”</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You don’t have to be strong all of the time,” Waverly says. “Let me take care of you.” She kisses Nicole’s tears away, then she kisses the corner of Nicole’s mouth.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nicole’s breath hitches.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Waverly’s eyes drift to Nicole’s lips.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>“Don’t kiss me, no, don’t kiss me right now. On your lips, just leave it.”</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Their breathing is perfectly in tune with each other’s. Nicole is stiff and Waverly leans in.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Just as their lips are about to connect for the first time, Wynonna walks through the front door.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Haught,” she says. “You home?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Waverly pulls away.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>“If you don’t mean it.”</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nicole sighs. “In here, Earp,” she says.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Wynonna walks into the kitchen. “Hey, babygirl,” she says to Waverly. “Are you two friends again?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah,” Nicole says and she watches as Waverly’s eyes light up.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Finally,” Wynonna says. “Haught, I’ve got so much to tell you.” She grabs Nicole’s arm and pulls her towards the stairs. “I’m gonna borrow her for a minute, Waves. You staying the night?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Waverly looks at Nicole.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nicole nods. “You can sleep in my room. I’ll sleep on the couch,” she tells Waverly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You can sleep with me in my room,” Wynonna says. “Anyway, c’mon. I’ve got loads to tell you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nicole looks at Waverly, silently asking if she’s going to be okay.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Waverly gives her a small smile. “Go,” she says softly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nicole follows Wynonna up the stairs, but not without looking back at Waverly again. She smiles at Waverly and gets a feeling that maybe, just maybe, everything will be okay.</p>
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